A Bed For All Seasons, Act II
Thomas knew not how long had passed since His Majesty had last visited his cell. After a while, one bowl of gruel kind of blends into the next.
But the time collapsed as he heard the approaching boots. In his breast rose the familiar tempest of regret and love, sorrow and determination, just as if the intervening days, or weeks, were a mere smoke break. He prepared for the gathering storm with a heavy heart. But heavy hearts are the hardest to move, and he had no intention of granting His Majesty license to cast out the mattress to which he had pledged himself in favor of one, His Majesty said, more fit for a King. Was it a California King, four inches longer? Or an Eastern King, four inches wider? Thomas suspected not even his old friend knew anymore.
The storm gathered with each tread echoing off of the stone walls. No, Thomas told himself, he could not endorse His Majesty’s rejection of every principle their hearts both had suckled at, simply because his eye had been caught by a new mattress. What mattered its innovative ventilation system, its unparalleled breathability, its 10” memory foam cool flow, in the face of the eternal verities? Did not sacred matters transcend the worldly charms of its high-density supportive base and lack of pressure points that plague inner-spring mattresses? Was tending to His Majesty’s back more urgent than tending to his mortal soul?
With surprise, he watched a figure step before him both like and unlike his bosom childhood friend. He had His Majesty’s jowly dignity, his regal beer gut, his foppish hat complete with feather. But on his face sat a pair of glasses, a large pink nose, and a bushy black mustache and eyebrows. The visitor made as if to walk past Thomas’s cell, but stopped suddenly, with a stagey double-take at Thomas’s face. “Are you – are you Thomas – oh, my gosh, it’s really you! Wow! That I, a mere tourist, should happen across such an eminence on my first day in London! Wait’ll I tell the folks back in Cheltingdonhamshire Mews! Please, Mr. Chancellor, may I have an autograph?” The tourist was so quick with the quill and the paper that Thomas reached through the bars without thinking. But he stilled his hand when he saw that the paper was the very same one His Majesty had been imploring him to sign.
“Oh, old friend,” Thomas said, with a rueful shake of the head. “That you would resort to such chicanery. I should have recognized the mark of the trickster upon you. I know it well! Remember the golden afternoon when we knocked upon the servant’s quarters door and left that bag of flaming-”
“Enough!” bellowed His Majesty, sending a mighty wave through the royal cheeks, the plastic disguise tumbling to the floor. “I don’t have time for another sigh-fest down memory lane. I fully intend to sleep on that King-sized Memory Foam Mattress whether you approve or not. Who are you, a mere Chancellor, to deny me the open memory foam cell structure that I demand? Have you forgotten your station? Now, sign the paper and let us put this foolishness into the chamberpot of history.”
Thomas shook his head. “I cannot.”
“So that’s the way you want to play it, huh?” His Majesty spat. “Fine. Tonight I shall rest the royal body upon a firm but pliant King Memory Foam Bed. And your head will rot in a basket to be picked at by carrion-birds and the occasional dwarf. How does that sound?”
For the first time, Thomas wondered if this mattress business was really all that important.
Warranty: Shipping Defects Only; Due to the personal nature of this product, we do not accept returns
Features:
- Patented ventilation system with unparalleled breathability
- King-size mattress has open memory foam cell structure that allows cool air to displace warm air
- Memory Foam has 2.5-inch 4-pound top layer with air flow ducts
- Foam support structure features 3-inch core with air flow channels directing cool air throughout the mattress
- High-density supportive base foam is 4.5 inches thick
- Molds to your body and eliminates the uncomfortable pressure points and motion transfer common in most innerspring mattresses
- 10-inch mattress never needs turning and can be used with existing box springs or platform bed
- Meets all flammability standards
- Memory Foam is resistant to dust mites and is naturally antimicrobial
Dimensions:
- California King: 84 in L x 72 in W x 10 in H
- Eastern King: 80 in L x 76 in W x 10 in H
Care Instructions:
- To maximize memory foam expansion; remove from packaging within 72 hours of receipt
- Shipped vacuum sealed and compacted; once received, allow for expansion in a well ventilated area to remove chemical smell associated with compression
- Allow mattress to expand in an open space for full recovery
- Expands to original shape in up to 72 hours
- Due to the nature of Memory Foam, the firmness level of every item is unique. Please be advised that even similar products may produce different firmness results
- Mattress is spot clean only
Additional Photos:
In the box:
- California King or Eastern King Memory Foam Mattress (Your Choice)
