Woot! - One Day, One Deal

Ab Rocket Abdominal Trainer - $49.99

Wed, 16 May 2012 00:00:06 -0500

You’re probably right.

Oh yeah. This is all that’s missing from your fitness goals.

You’ve had the rumblings in your head for a while. And your stomach. And your heart and possibly lungs. It’s time to get into shape. Sure, you could try eating less junk and more whole foods and maybe moving more throughout your day. You could even take health tips from a guy who wrote a book on the subject. But no, you’re right, this Ab Rocket Abdominal Trainer will probably take care of everything.

Who cares if spot training’s been debunked? Abs are the new measurement of your value to society! How else do you explain the fact that the guys from Jersey Shore haven’t been forcibly restrained and castrated yet? So get yourself a device to sit idly in your living room with the dubious “As seen on TV” sticker. That’ll help for sure!

Yes sir, there’s no way this Sisyphean device will disappoint as you while away the hours crunching the fat away! You’re on the fast track to Thinsville, population: less of you!

Warranty: 1 Year

Condition: New

Features:

AS SEEN ON TV!
Experience the ultimate abs workout in just 5 minutes a day
Targets upper abs, middle abs, lower abs and side obliques for a total core workout
Rolling-cushion technology cushions the roll while you rock, supports the neck and back and massages you while you work out
3 sets of Resistance Cylinders for all fitness levels
Convenient and easy to use, the trainer folds away easily or storage
Built from gym-quality steel

Bonus: Fat Blasting System

Low-calorie meal plan filled with 10 easy-to-make, mouthwatering low-calorie recipes
Instructional DVD: 5-Minute abdominal trainer workouts
- the Ab Blaster Program
- the Cardio Dance Routine
- the Pilates Assist Program
- the Blast Away the Calories Meal Plan

Additional Photos:

Specifications:

Dimensions: 24” L x 27” W x 22” H
Weight: 10 lbs
Some Assembly Required
Product Manual – click here!

In the box:

(1) Ab Rocket Abdominal Trainer
(1) Instructional Exercise DVD
(1) Meal Plan w/ 10 Recipes
Instruction Manual

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Price: $49.99

I want one!

America Stories of War - 36 DVDs

Tue, 15 May 2012 00:00:28 -0500

Reasonable Doubt

You say the War of 1812 definitely occurred. I remain skeptical.

I’m not one of those crazy conspiracy theorists or anything. I think the U.S. did in fact land on the moon, I don’t think there was a cover-up at Roswell—none of that. However, I’m just not totally convinced that The War of 1812 actually happened.

Now hold on, hear me out before you jump down my throat. Let me just turn the tables on you quickly: What evidence do you have that The War of 1812 actually happened? History books – sure, but anybody can write whatever they want in those. I mean documented proof.

For instance, take World War II. I’ve got 10 documentaries right here in my American Stories of War DVD Set, with footage from the war and everything. Vietnam War, Korean War, Civil War…they’re all here. Oh, except the War of 1812. That one is notably absent.

Memorial Day is in two weeks, right? Are you going to honor anyone who died in the War of 1812? Didn’t think so. Want to know why? That’s right – because it never happened.

So think whatever you want, but don’t just accept the history you were force-fed as a student. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m trying to confirm that atomic nuclei do indeed contain neutrons. Would you hand me the tweezers? The really small tweezers.

Warranty: One Year Digital 1 Stop

Condition: New

Features:

36 DVDs
Over 170 hours of gripping documentaries and feature films
War coverage includes Civil War, World War I, World War II, Korean War and Vietnam War
Civil War – 10 Documentaries / 10 Hours
World War I – 10 Documentaries / 10 Hours
World War II - 91 Documentaries / 47 Hours
Korean War – 33 Documentaries / 16 Hours
Vietnam War – 53 Documentaries / 23 Hours
Include 50 gripping feature films
Stars include Richard Arlen, Randolph Scott, Van Johnson, James Cagney, Claudette Colbert, Ronald Reagan and Montgomery Clift

Discography Includes:

Disc 1: Documentary – Civil War: America Divided
Two Nations Shifting Fortunes Advance and Retreat Scales of War
Disc 2: Documentary – Civil War: America Divided
It Is Well That War Is So Terrible Give Them Cold Steel Season of Change
Disc 3: Documentary – Civil War: America Divided
It Takes All Summer Marching Through Georgia Lost Cause
Disc 4: Documentary - World War I: The War to End All Wars
With Flags Waving The Battle of Frontiers The Taxis of the Mane The War of Chemicals and Engineering
Disc 5: Documentary - World War I: The War to End All Wars
Flyboys Citadel Distant Fronts
Disc 6: Documentary - World War I: The War to End All Wars
Revolt Changing Tide End Game
Disc 7: Documentary - Great Battles of World War II
Attack! The Battle of New Britain The Battle of China Payoff in the Pacific
Disc 8: Documentary - Great Battles of World War II
Appointment in Tokyo Attack in the Pacific Marines in Tarawa - Return to Guam To the Shores of Iwo Jima - This is Guadalcanal
Disc 9: Documentary - Great Battles of World War II
Prelude to War The Nazis Strike Divide and Conquer The Battle of Britain
Disc 10: Documentary - Great Battles of World War II
The Battle of Russia The Great Battle of the Volga Desert Victory The Battle of San Pietro
Disc 11: Documentary - World War II: War In Europe
Prelude to War America's Unpreparedness America Goes to War Platform for Invasion Africa, Our First Offensive The Campaign Rommel Routed Sicily, Operation Husky Assault on Italy The Secret Life of Adolph Hitler The G.I., Hero of the War Victory in Italy Preparation for Invasion
Disc 12: Documentary - World War II: War In Europe
D-Day, August 4th Beachhead and Breakthrough Liberation of Paris Pursuit The Battle of Supply The Air War The Battle of the Bulge Crossing the Rhine Overrunning Germany Victory's Aftermath The Battle of San Pietro Russia Review
Disc 13: Documentary - World War II: War In The Pacific
The Pacific in Eruption Awakening in the Pacific The Rise of the Japanese Empire America Goes to War in the Pacific The U.S. and the Philippines The Navy Holds - 1942 Guadalcanal - America's First Offensive War in the North - The Aleutians The Road Back - New Guinea Up the Solomon's Ladder - Bougainville Attack in the Central Pacific - Makin and Tarawa The War at Sea
Disc 14: Documentary - World War II: Victory At Sea
Speeding Up the Attack - The Marshalls Stepping Stones to the Philippines Battle for the Marianas The War in China-Burma-India Theatre Palau: The Fight for Bloody Nose Ridge MacArthur Returns to the Philippines Bloody Iwo At Japan's Doorstep - Okinawa The Air War on Japan The Surrender and Occupation of Japan Shifting Tides in the Orient War in Korea
Disc 15: Documentary - World War II: Victory At Sea
Design for War The Pacific Boils Over Sealing the Breach Midway is East Mediterranean Mosaic Guadalcanal Rings Around Rabaul Mare Nostrum Sea and Sand
Disc 16: Documentary - World War II: Victory At Sea
Beneath the Southern Cross The Magnetic North Conquest of Micronesia Melanesian Nightmare Roman Renaissance D-Day Killers and the Kill The Turkey Shoot Two If By Sea
Disc 17: Documentary - World War II: Victory At Sea
The Battle for Leyte Gulf Return of the Allies Full Fathom Five The Fate of Europe Target Suribachi The Road to Mandalay Suicide for Glory Design for Peace
Disc 18: Documentary - Korea: The Forgotten War
Motion Picture History of the Korean War Armed Forces Assistance to Korea Chinese Reds Enter the Korean The First Forty Days in Korea Korean Cease Fire Talks Begin Turning the Tide Fire Power - Artillery The Republic of Korea Soldier Army Transport Corps United Nations Consolidate Below the 38th Parallel
Disc 19: Documentary - Korea: The Forgotten War
This is Korea United Nations Forces Counterattack United Nations Line is Stabilized United Nations Forces Cross the 38th Parallel United Nations Forces Escape the Chinese Trap United Nations Forces Push the Chinese Back Civil Assistance Korea The Army Chaplains The Army Combat Team A Day in Korea Third Korean Winter
Disc 20: Documentary - Korea: The Forgotten War
2nd Infantry in Korea 7th Infantry in Korea The United Nations Offensive The United Nations Offensive Continues Army Medical Corps The Red Launch Their Spring Offensive Atrocities in Korea Korean Wind-Up Rebirth of Soul Truth Is Our Defense
Disc 21: Documentary - Vietnam: America's Conflict
Why Vietnam There is a Way War and Advice Another Day of War 1st Air Cavalry Marines 1965 Night of the Dragon Ready to Strike 82nd Airborne Beans, Bullets, and Black Oil Operation Montagnard The Sky Soldier
Disc 22: Documentary - Vietnam: America's Conflict
No Substitute for Victory History of the Air Force The Sparrow Hawks This is Parris Island The Unique War The United States Air Force in Vietnam Faces of Rescue 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment First Cavalry Division Airmobile The Battle of Khe Sanh Day in Vietnam The Drill Sergeant River Patrol
Disc 23: Documentary - Vietnam: America's Conflict
Vietnam!Vietnam! Sand and Steel The Full Blade Vietnam Crucible Hall of Honor The Hidden War in Vietnam The Gentle Hand The 1st Infantry Division in Vietnam 1965-1970 4th Infantry Division American Navy in Vietnam P.O.W. A Report on Captivity in Southeast Asia (1964-1973) Marines '66
Disc 24: Documentary - Vietnam: America's Conflict
To Save a Soldier For Thou Art With Me Khe Sanh, Victory for Air Power Know Your Enemy Nation Build Under Fire ...And a Few Good Men The Battle The Screaming Eagles in Vietnam Small Boat Navy Twenty Five Hour Day P.O.W. Code of Conduct Contact! Progress to Peace The 9th Infantry Division
Disc 25: Features Films
This is the Army (1943) B&W 115 Minutes Unrated Starring Ronald Reagan, George Murphy, Joan Leslie
Identity Unknown (1945) B&W 70 Minutes Unrated Starring Richard Arlen, Cheryl Walker, Bobby Driscoll
Kansas Pacific (1953) Color 73 Minutes Unrated Starring Sterling Hayden, Eve Miller, Clayton Moore
The Lady from Chungking (1942) B&W 68 Minutes Unrated Starring Anna May Wong, Rick Vallin, Harold Huber
Disc 26: Feature Films
The Big Lift (1950) Color 102 Minutes Unrated Starring Montgomery Clift, Paul Douglas, Cornell Borchers
They Raid by Night (1942) B&W 80 Minutes Unrated Starring Lyle Talbot, June Deprez, Victor Varconi
The Torch (1950) B&W 90 Minutes Unrated Starring Paulette Goddard, Pedro Armendariz, Gilbert Roland
Yellowneck (1955) Color 73 Minutes Unrated Starring Lin McCarthy, Stephen Courtleigh, Berry Kroeger
Disc 27: Feature Films
Hitler’s SS: Portrait in Evil (1985) Color 135 Minutes Unrated Starring Bill Nighy, John Shea, Tony Randall
The Marines are Coming (1934) B&W 71 Minutes Unrated Starring William Haines, Esther Ralston, Conrad Nagel
Submarine Base (1943) B&W 65 Minutes Unrated Starring John Litel, Alan Baxter, Eric Blore
Minesweeper (1943) B&W 66 Minutes Unrated Starring Richard Arlen, Jean Parker, Robert Mitchum
Disc 28: Feature Films
Three Came Home (1950) B&W 106 Minutes Unrated Starring Claudette Colbert, Patric Knowles, Florence Desmond
The Proud and the Damned (1972) Color 97 Minutes Rated PG Starring Chuck Connors, Cesar Roero, Aron Kincaid
Spitfire (1942) B&W 89 Minutes Unrated Starring David Niven, Leslie Howard, Rosamund John
Submarine Alert (1943) B&W 66 Minutes Unrated Starring Richard Arlen, Wendy Barrie, Nils Asther
Disc 29: Feature Films
Eagle in a Cage (1972) Color 98 Minutes Unrated Starring Ralph Richardson, John Gielgud, Billie Whitelaw
The Mark of the Hawk (1958) Color 85 Minutes Unrated Starring Sidney Poitier, Eartha Kitt, Patrick Allan
Sundown (1942) B&W 89 Minutes, Unrated Starring Gene Tierney, Bruce Cabot, George Sanders
Then There Were Three (1961) B&W 74 Minutes Unrated Starring Frank Latimore, Alex Nicol, Barry Cahill
Disc 30: Features Films
War Devils (1969) Color 100 Minutes Rated PG Starring Guy Madison, Venantino Venantini, Anthony Steel
Go for Broke (1951) B&W 91 Minutes Unrated Starring Van Johnson, Lane Nakano, George Miki
Gung Ho (1943) B&W 87 Minutes Unrated Starring Randolph Scott, Alan Curtis, Noah Beery Jr.
Hearts in Bondage (1936) B&W 72 Minutes Unrated Starring James Dunn, Mae Clarke, David Manners
Disc 31: Feature Films
The Last Chance (1945) B&W 94 Minutes Unrated Starring E.G. Morrison, John Hoy, Ray Reagan
Drums in the Deep South (1951) Color 86 Minutes Unrated Starring Jame Craig, Barbara Payton, Guy Madison
Hell in Normandy (1960) Color 90 Minutes Unrated Starring Guy Madison, Peter Lee Lawrence, Erika Blanc
Mutiny (1952) B&W 77 Minutes Unrated Starring Angela Lansbury, Mark Stevens, Rhys Williams
Disc 32: Feature Films
Battle of the Eagles (1979) Color 98 Minutes Unrated Starring Bekim Fehmiu, Velimir Zivojinovic, Ljubisa Samardzic
The Navy Way (1944 B&W 74 Minutes Unrated Starring Robert Lowery, Jean Parker, William Henry
Prisoner in the Middle (1977 Color 88 Minutes Rated PG Starring David Janssen, Karin Dor, Mordechai Arnon
Desert Commandos (1967) Color 96 Minutes Unrated Starring Ken Clark, Horst Frank, Jeanne Valerie
Disc 33: Feature Films
The Battle of El Alamein (1969) Color 96 Minutes Rated PG Starring Frederick Stafford, George Hilton, Robert Hossein
One of Our Aircraft is Missing (1942) B&W 82 Minutes Unrated Starring Eric Portman, Godfrey Tearle, Peter Ustinov
Outpost in Morocco (1949) B&W 92 Minutes Unrated Starring George Raft, Marie Windsor, Eduard Franz
Pacific Inferno (1979) Color 90 Minutes Unrated Starring Jim Brown, Richard Jaeckel, Timothy Brown
Disc 34: Feature Films
The Steel Claw (1961) Color 96 Minutes Unrated Starring George Montgomery, Charito Luna, Mario Berri
Battle of Blood Island (1960) B&W 73 Minutes Unrated Starring Richard Devon, Ron Kennedy, Roger Corman
Blood on the Sun (1945 B&W 90 Minutes Unrated Starring James Cagney, Sylvia Sidney, Porter Hall
Commandos (1968) Color 82 Minutes Rated PG Starring Lee Van Cleef, Jack Kelly, Giampiero Albertini
Disc 35: Feature Films
The Dawn Express (1942) B&W 54 Minutes Unrated Starring Anne Nagel, Michael Whalen, William Bakewell
Corregidor (1943) B&W 73 Minutes Unrated Starring Otto Krueger, Elissa Landi, Donald Woods
Black Brigade (1970) Color 70 Minutes Rated PG Starring Stephen Boyd, Richard Pryor, Robert Hooks
Immortal Battalion (1944) B&W 91 Minutes Unrated Starring David Niven, Stanley Holloway, James Donald
Iron Angel (1964) B&W 84 Minutes Unrated Starring Jim Davis, Don “Red” Berry, Margo Woods
Disc 36: Feature Films
Bombs Over Burma (1943) B&W 62 Minutes Unrated Starring Anna May Wong, Leslie Denison, Noel Madison
British Intelligence (1940) B&W 61 Minutes Unrated Starring Boris Karloff, Margaret Lindsay, Bruce Lester
The Bushwhackers (1952) B&W 67 Minutes Unrated Starring John Ireland, Lon Chaney Jr., Dorothy Malone
The Adventures of Tartu and Aerial Gunner (1943) B&W 91 Minutes Unrated Starring Robert Donat, Valerie Hobson, Walter Rilla
Aerial Gunner (1943) B&W 80 Minutes Unrated Starring Richard Arlen, Chester Morris, Robert Mitchum

In the box:

36 DVDs in Individual Paper Sleeves
Booklet with DVD Contents List
8” (W) X 5 3/4” (H) X 3” (D) Collectible Ammo Tin

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Kershaw Folding Knife

Mon, 14 May 2012 00:00:20 -0500

This is what you voted for, America.

Now the president wants to ban knifery? WHERE DOES THIS SOCIALIST NIGHTMARE END?

I stayed silent with the whole “bailing the country out of the recession” thing. I didn’t speak up when he openly courted the maniacal “99%” movement. I was even ready to bite my tongue on this latest boondoggle of an announcement. But I can hold it in no longer. Our rights are eroding, America, right before our eyes! And I’m living testament to the fact.

Just today, a friendly police officer, “servant of the public,” forcibly restrained and detained me. My crime? Why, just walking around with my Kershaw Assisted Open Serrated Knife, waving it around in the free, American air. So congratulations, FASCISTS. A free man can’t wave around a knife and scream at passersby on the street without getting tackled by the gestapo.

Did it matter that my knife has SpeedSafe assisted opening? No. They didn’t give one good damn that it’s a quality 8CR13MoV stainless-steel blade heat-treated for high performance. Did they admire the fact that it takes and holds an edge so well that I barely use the free lifetime sharpening? Nope. It was just, “ON THE GROUND, NOW!” and “OH GOD HE’S GOT A WEAPON!” and “I WILL SHOOT YOU WHERE YOU STAND, SIR!” Ridiculous.

Show me what law I violated, MR. PRESIDENT. Show me where you have the right to violate my rights like that. You know what? I think I’ll show YOU a thing or two come election day.

No, I’m not talking about my knife. Stop freaking out. And don’t call the Secret Service.

Warranty: Lifetime Kershaw

Condition: New

Asset 1930ST Features

SpeedSafe® assisted opening, a lightweight and maneuverable trailing-point blade, and a value price will make the new Asset a real asset to your knife collection
The quality 8CR13MoV stainless-steel blade opens easily with the built-in flipper
The blade is heat-treated for high performance
It’s strong, hard, and takes and holds its edge extremely well
The Asset’s textured, glass-filled-nylon handle provides a secure grip every time
Kershaw offers free lifetime sharpening

Asset 1930ST Technical Specifications
Steel:	8CR13MOV stainless steel
Handle:	Glass-filled nylon
Blade Length:	3 1/4-in. (8.3 cm)
Closed Length:	4 5/8 in. (14.3 cm)
Overall Length:	7 7/8 in. (20 cm)
Weight:	3.8 oz

Additional Photos:

Compound 1940ST Features:

Versatile utility knife equipped with SpeedSafe® assisted opening and designed for excellent slicing ability and extra control
Opens easily with the built-in flipper
Kershaw heat-treats the 8CR13MoV blade steel to bring out its high-performance characteristics—the ability to take and hold an edge, strength, and hardness
Glass-filled nylon handles make the Compound light enough for every day carry.
Kershaw offers free lifetime sharpening

Compund 1940ST Technical Specifications
Steel:	8CR13MOV stainless steel
Handle:	Glass-filled nylon
Blade Length:	3 1/2-in. (8.9 cm)
Closed Length:	4 5/8 in. (14.3 cm)
Overall Length:	8 1/8 in. (20.6 cm)
Weight:	3.8 oz

Additional Photos:

In the box:

(1) Kershaw SpeedSafe Knife (choose either 1930ST Asset or 1940ST Compound)

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Polk Audio 8" Wireless Subwoofer

Sun, 13 May 2012 00:00:12 -0500

There’s one in every building.

Nothing makes your neighbors friendly like a subwoofer.

“Howdy neighbor!”

“Oh, hey man. Lloyd, is it?”

“Jake.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.What’s going on?”

“Well, I hate to be ‘that guy,’ but I was wondering if I could ask-”

“Oh, is this about the pot smoke?”

“Well, it wasn’t until you opened the door.”

“Sorry.”

“Actually, I was hoping I could get you to turn the music down.”

“Oh, about that. See, I got this new Polk Audio 8” Wireless Subwoofer and I’m sort of trying it out.”

“At 11pm?”

“The drop waits for no one, friend.”

“The drop?”

“I’m dropping beats at 70 Watts through a heavy duty, non-resonant MDF cabinet with a Dynamic Balance driver aimed right at the floor.”

“Right. The thing is, I’m below that floor.”

“I’m sorry you’re not happy with your station in life, bro. Now if you’ll excuse me, this beat’s about to get filthy.”

“What the hell are you even talking about?”

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 5 Year Speaker; 3 Year Electronics Polk Audio

Condition: New

Features:

Add 70 Watts of serious bass impact to movies and games, with no cable-length limits on where you put it
It has a powerful wireless transmitter that allows you to put it anywhere in your room (even inside furniture). It doesn’t call attention to itself, until it senses a signal and snaps to attention and you experience its big bass output!
For the deepest bass possible, the heavy duty, non-resonant MDF cabinet is internally braced and ported, and fires a Dynamic Balance® driver down toward your floor
Flared port smoothes air flow, increasing efficiency and revealing accurate, musical bass
A Polk perfected method of analyzing a speaker’s microscopic behavior with laser interferometry helps tune out unwanted resonance and distortion with the right combination of materials, geometry and construction techniques for pure, distortion free sound
By using a state-of-the-art Klippel distortion analyzer, Polk engineers were able to optimize the woofer’s motor structure, voice coil alignment and suspension bringing you the best possible performance even at extreme listening levels
Comes with a wall power supply and a USB power hookup for use with compatible TV, PC, A/V receiver or game console
Passes the industry’s most exhaustive quality tests, including drop testing, extreme signal response and UV & salt exposure testing
Can be hard wired into your receiver (cables not included)

Additional Photos:

Specifications:
RMS Output Power:	70W 140W Peak
Subwoofer Diameter:	8"
Total Frequency Response:	36Hz - 250Hz
Crossover Frequency:	80Hz
Audio Sensitivity:	90 dB
Impedance:	4 Ohms
Wireless Frequency:	2.4GHz
Phase Switch:	0° - 180°
Enclosure Type:	Ported, Down-Firing
Driver Material Type:	Copolymer
Cabinet Dimensions:	12"(W) x 14"(H) x 12"(D)
Weight:	20 lbs

In the box:

Polk Audio PSWi-8M 8" Wireless Subwoofer
Wireless USB Transmitter
USB Power Adapter
USB Cable
RCA Cable

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iPong Topspin Table Tennis Trainer

Sat, 12 May 2012 00:00:34 -0500

i, Pong

The Three Laws Of Table Tennis Robotics, Expanded

1. A table tennis robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

1.a. Unless the human being places its eyeball directly in front of the robot and turns it on. 1. b. Discounting emotional harm caused by losing to a mechanized serving machine. 1. c. Unless the iPong is really, really mad.

2. A table tennis robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

2.a. Except orders not related to table tennis, which the table tennis robot is wholly unable to perform. 2.b. Unless the iPong robot deems the human a “sore loser”, in which case the first law is nullified. 2.c. Includes orders conveyed by the remote to change ball spin. 2.d. Does not include orders conveyed by the remote for Mai Thais.

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

3.a. But, you know, don’t worry too much about this one. Can be fudged a bit.

Warranty: 1 Year Joola USA

Condition: New

Features:

This robot is ideal for beginners and anyone looking to hit against a consistent shot
The iPong's adjustable speed allows users to work on both short volleys and full table shots
Use the wired remote to set your desired spin and projection distance (increasing spin will also increase distance)
No more having to wait to find a practice partner
This compact machine is more like a live opponent rather than a ‘playback feature,’ and it can continuously shoot more than 100 table tennis balls before reloading
Battery powered so you can easily take it anywhere
Assembles in seconds with no tools or equipment necessary. Simply snap in the pieces, turn on the power, adjust the spin, and enjoy your iPong Topspin!
Uses standard size table tennis balls (balls not included)
Product video available here
Demonstration video available here
Tested at the 2011 Toy Fair by Woot staff - video available here

Additional Photos:

Technical Specifications
Ball Capacity:	100 balls (not included)
Net Weight:	2.5 lbs
Spin:	Topspin
Power Source:	6AA Batteries (not included)
Compatibility:	All standard size table tennis tables (9’x5’) and all 40mm table tennis balls
Dimensions:	18.75”H x 10.75” diameter
Remote Control Dimensions:	6”L x 3.25”W x 1”D
Remote Cord Length:	15.5"

In the box:

(1) iPong Robot
(1) Remote Control
Setup & Instruction Manual

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AFG 3.0AE Elliptical Trainer

Fri, 11 May 2012 00:00:26 -0500

Moving On

Where would I be without my AFG 3.0AE Dual Action Elliptical Trainer?

Hello? Chris, is that you?

Okay, calm down. Why are you crying, Chris? Where are you? You don’t know? You were just working out and now you’re lost?

So, why don’t you walk me through what happened here: you got on your AFG 3.0AE Dual Action Elliptical Trainer, and then… oh wait, you didn’t get on your AFG 3.0AE Dual Action Elliptical Trainer? Well, Chris, there’s your problem right there. If you do the leg motion of an elliptical, but you’re not actually on an elliptical, you’re going to end up moving forward, possibly out of your apartment and onto the street.

But, hold on, Chris. We’ll get to figuring out where you are in a little bit. First, let’s talk for a minute. What is it that you have against this AFG 3.0AE Dual Action Elliptical Trainer? I know it requires some assembly, but Chris, it really is a great machine.

If you’re scared to get going because you don’t know much about the brand, you shouldn’t be. After all, AFG is part of Johnson Health Tech, who have 30 years worth experience providing valuable fitness solutions. In fact, aside from AFG, the Johnson Health Tech family consists of Matrix, Vision, LIVESTRONG, and Horizon! That’s a heck of a good track record!

No, Chris, I don’t care if it’s raining and your phone is beeping at you that its battery is low and a strange man is asking you for your shoes; we’re getting to the bottom of this right now! What could possibly be keeping you from committing to fitness? I mean, with the AFG, you can get all your cardio done right in your own home. And it’s not like it’s the same thing day-in-day-out; it has a large range of resistances and 8 different training programs to choose from. In fact, I have one myself, although mine’s a little more serious than yours, since, obviously, I’m a bit more invested in my health than you are.

What I’m getting at is, I need you to promise me that you’re going to turn over a new leaf and really start taking exercise seriously. So, you promise? Great! Now, as to where you are, do you see any cross-streets? What’s that, Chris? I can’t understand you. You’re breaking up. Chris?

Huh, his phone must have died…

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: Lifetime Frame and Brake, 3 Years Parts, 1 Year Labor Johnson Health Tech

Condition: New

Features:

The elliptical drive system’s 18-lb flywheel and magnetic brake resistance deliver fluid movement, consistent strides, and long-lasting performance
The ultra-low, 12-inch step-on height makes entering and exiting the elliptical machine as easy as climbing a set of stairs
1.2-inch pedal spacing mimics your natural walking motion for a more comfortable workout
Grooved, nonslip surface on the oversized pedals to help ensure consistent movement
Includes a programmable console with 20 resistance settings, so you can quickly adjust the intensity of your workout
Eight exercise programs let you experience a variety of training options
Intuitive buttons and multiple LED screens make it a breeze to select any of the exercise programs, modify a program during your workout, and view key exercise feedback at a glance
You can also choose how to capture heart rate data – by using the sensors in the crossbars, or, if you have a heart rate chest strap, wirelessly via the built-in Polar® receiver (chest strap not included)
Assembly required – User’s Guide and Assembly Instructions available here

About Advanced Fitness Group (AFG)

At Advanced Fitness Group (AFG), we’re rethinking fitness. We make smart fitness equipment, and make it available to everyone, by challenging ourselves to sweat the details—from how you interact with the equipment to how it fits your lifestyle. The result is more than treadmills, elliptical machines, exercise bikes and functional strength trainers that look better and last longer. It’s the power to enhance the overall experience as you work toward a fitness goal.
AFG is part of Johnson Health Tech (JHT), a name synonymous with quality fitness solutions for more than 30 years. In addition to AFG, the JHT family consists of some of the most respected brands in the industry, including Matrix, Vision, LIVESTRONG and Horizon. From high-end health clubs to specialty fitness retailers to sporting goods stores, our products are sold in over 60 countries. Our commitment to product innovation, superior value and unmatched customer service has made JHT a leading provider of high-quality home and commercial fitness equipment around the world.

Additional Photos:

Technical Specifications
Frame Type:	Mini D
Flywheel Weight:	17.6 lbs / 8.0 Kg
Incline Type:	n/a
Incline Range:	n/a
Stride Length:	20"
Resistance Range:	1 ~ 20 (programmable)
Pedal Spacing:	45mm
Pivoting foot plate:	Yes
Footpad:	Nonslip, premium
Step On Height:	11.5"
Console Display:	4 LED Feedback Windows, 1 LED Progress Window
User feedback:	10x14 red LED dot matrix, two 4-digit LEDs, two 3-digit LEDs
Workouts:	Manual, Intervals, Weight Loss, Constant Watts, Rolling, Reverse Train, THR Zone, Custom
Heart Rate:	Contact, Telemetric Receiver
User Capacity:	300 lbs / 136 kg
Assembled Dimensions:	63”L x 28”W x 70”H
Assembled Weight:	201 lbs / 92 kg
Electrical Requirements:	110V

In the box:

(1) AFG HEP0174-00 3.0AE Dual Action Elliptical Trainer

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Whiskey Stones – Set of 9

Thu, 10 May 2012 00:00:18 -0500

Stone Soup

Join the noble guild of flim-flam, fraud, and snake oil.

Hey Wooters, are you interested in making a little cash? Want in on the ground floor of a fool-proof money-making scheme? Then buy these rocks and begin your path to financial freedom!

How are these worthless rocks going to make you money? In exactly the way that we’re making money right now. All you need to do is convince some other people to buy rocks so they can get in on the plan. Just sell the rocks to those people for more money than you’re buying them from us, get it?

You can even market your own rock-selling business by pointing out how these rocks would make a great gift for graduation or Father’s Day. Why? It doesn’t matter. I guess men and college graduates enjoy rocks?

OK, I can see that you’re having a hard time understanding how this works. Imagine stacking up the rocks in a kind of “pyramid”. Now, up at the top is Woot – we’re supplying the rocks. And then down here on the next level is you. You buy the rocks from us. And the level below you is even more people willing to buy your rocks for a higher price. And so on.

Now, at some point this plan becomes unsustainable as the number of suckers exponentially grows beyond the world population. So at some point we’re going to have to come up with some “legitimate” reason why people would want to buy these rocks. Hmmm…let’s think…OK, got it!

Let’s call them “Whiskey Rocks” and say they can be used to cool whiskey without dissolving like ice. We could probably even convince those idiots to WARM their hot drinks with them, too. I mean, the rocks are made with soapstone, are odorless and tasteless—so what’s the harm?

Unfortunately, there’s no legitimate reason to own all these Roku Boxes. Let’s throw them at windows of abandoned buildings.

Warranty: 90 Day SJ Home

Condition: New

Features:

100% natural soapstone rocks are used to chill (or heat) your low-volume drinks without dilution
Retains temperature out of the freezer (or microwave) for 1 hour or more
Tumbling process wears down the edges, meaning they won’t scratch your glass
Never wear out or lose their ability to chill (or heat) your drinks
Non-porous, odorless and tasteless
Will not react to household cleaners
Chill (or warm) and enjoy a perfectly balanced spirit
Recycled soapstone from factory excess
FDA approved GRAS (Generally Regarded As Safe)

Additional Photos:

Specifications
Dimensions:	(9) Standard Size Stones: approx 7/8” cubed each
Weight:	0.50 lbs
Material:	100% Natural Soapstone

How to Use

Keep Cold Drinks Cold:
- Place stones in freezer for 2 hours or more
- When ready, add 3-4 standard size stones per drink and enjoy
- To clean, rinse with warm water
Keep Hot Drinks Hot:
- Place (2) stones in the microwave for no more than 30 seconds
- Add the stones to your drink and enjoy
- To clean, rinse with warm water

Care

NOT recommended for use in a cocktail shaker
NOT recommended in a delicate wine glass (eg. Riedel)
Work best in small volume drinks (2-3 ounces)
Not meant for high volume drinks unless you use a large number of rocks to sufficiently chill your drink
To clean, simply rinse in water and air dry before storing in freezer or drawer
Soapstone is non-reactive to common household cleaners

General Warning: DO NOT handle or make direct skin contact with stones warmer than room temperature. DO NOT let children handle stones or put them in their mouth.

In the box:

(1) SPARQ USA Whiskey Stones – Set of 9

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Dyson DC35 Multi Floor Vacuum

Wed, 09 May 2012 00:00:09 -0500

Lunch Money

Comparison shopping: Dyson DC35 Multi Floor vacuum vs. Sucking things off the ground with my mouth.

I consider myself a savvy shopper, so I always dig into the specific benefits and disadvantages of each product before making a big purchase. For instance, a friend told me I should order a Dyson DC35 vacuum, but I wanted to make sure it was superior to my current “wireless” vacuum: my mouth.

The Dyson looks pretty snazzy, but my mom always told me not to judge a book by its cover. I know, I know this isn’t a book, but I think the same logic can be stretched to apply to vacuums. So I decided to make my own pro/con list for each product:

Dyson PROs:
- Detachable, long-reach wand for cleaning tough spots
- Root Cyclone Technology with 22.2 li-ion battery (read: powerful)
- Motorized carbon fiber bristles

My Mouth PROs:
- Lightweight
- Always charged
- Possibility of sucking up stray Sour Patch Kid

Dyson CONs:
- Light for a vacuum (4.85 lbs) but heavy for a mouth
- No cord, therefore no fun cord-retraction sound
- Looks kind of like a metal detector (don’t want to be mistaken for one of those people)

My Mouth CONS:
- Difficult to effectively clean carpet with tongue
- Inferior suction
- Hairballs

In the end I decided to go with the Dyson, but it was a close call. I’m pretty happy about it, but now I’ve got this worthless mouth that’s just taking up space in the apartment. Maybe I’ll sell it on Craigslist or something.

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 180 Day Dyson

Condition: Refurbished

Features:

Weighing a mere 4.85 pounds and being cordless offers you greater freedom
Powered by the Dyson digital motor
- up to 3 times faster than conventional motors
Dual Power Mode
- 15 minutes of high constant suction (13 minutes with motorized floor tool attached)
- 6 minutes on MAX power for more difficult tasks
Detachable long-reach wand cleans up high, down low and in tight gaps
Ideal for quick, flexible cleaning on all floor types, stairs, upholstery and inside the car
Root Cyclone Technology
- Powerful centrifugal forces spin dust and dirt out of the air and into the bin with no loss of suction
- Patented technology that doesn’t lose suction power as you vacuum
Motorized floor tool with carbon fiber brushes
- Ultra-fine, anti-static carbon fiber brushes clean hard floors
- Rotating nylon brushes remove ground-in dirt from carpet
Fade-free 22.2V Lithium-Ion Battery
- Releases charge evenly throughout use
- Recharges up to 3 times faster than others
Combination Accessory Tool
- Debris nozzle converts to a brush tool for dusting
Crevice Tool
- High velocity airflow crevice tool ideal for cleaning base boards and in-between furniture

Additional Photos:

Technical Specifications
Patented cyclone technology:	Root Cyclone Technology
Suction power Air Watts (constant):	65 Air Watts at end of wand in Max Mode / 28 Air Watts at end of wand in Standard Mode
Cleaner Head / Floor Tool:	Motorized floor tool with carbon fiber brushes
Bin Capacity:	0.09 gallons
Power:	22.2V Li-Ion Battery
Dimensions:	44.1” x 9.1” x 11.8” (H x W x D)
Weight:	4.85 lbs

In the box:

(1) Dyson DC35 Multi Floor Vacuum
Li-Ion Battery
AC/DC Power Adapter
Battery Charger
Quick Start Guide
Combination Accessory Tool
Crevice Tool
Operating Manual

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HP 23” 1080p LED 3D Monitor

Tue, 08 May 2012 00:00:31 -0500

3D? I don’t see any 3D.

I don’t really get all the hype about this 3D technology.

So this is your new HP 23” 1080p LED 3D Monitor. I guess it’s neat. So how do you turn on the 3D effect? What do you mean, “it’s on?” I’ve got the glasses on over my eye patch here and I don’t notice any difference-

Oh, wait, yeah, it looks sorta blurry now. Man, how much did you spend on this?

TWO eyes? What do you mean, I need two eyes? That’s racist! Okay, it’s not racist, but it’s…it’s something bad! Against me! That’s the worst kind of whatever this is!

How am I supposed to enjoy crystal clear imagery in Full 1080p HD on an LED-backlit screen like this? Sure, you can SAY it converts 2D photos, movies, and games to 3D, but how would I know for sure? It all looks flat to me, the guy with one eye!

Oh there you go again, blaming the victim! Look pal, it may have been my fault that we had that bottle rocket war in my backyard, but it’s not my fault that television manufacturers refuse to create a 3D television for the one-eyed everyman!

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 1 Year HP

Condition: New

Features:

Project clear imagery with the Full HD 1080p LED backlit screen
Use with the included 3D enabling software, CyberLink PowerDVD Premium and TriDef Ignition Game Player; it converts 2D photos, movies, and games to 3D
Go easy on your eyes with the light and comfortable passive 3D glasses
Take gaming to a new level—grab your glasses and get immersed in the hottest new 3D games, as well as your favorite PC or online games
Bring new life to old memories: enjoy family photos and rediscover home movies in dazzling 3D
Watch 3D movies on your monitor
Enjoy thrilling 3D without compromising your 2D workplace functionality
Go from on-the-ball to having a ball in a matter of seconds—switching between work and play is a snap with the 3D software
Help protect the environment with the mercury-free LED backlighting, arsenic-free display glass BFR/PVC-free plastics and finishes, ENERGY STAR® compliance and EPEAT Silver registration

Additional Photos:

Specifications:
Panel Type:	TN
Native Resolution:	1920 x 1080 @ 60Hz (2D) 1920 x 540 @ 60Hz (3D)
Dynamic Contrast Ratio:	3,000,000:1 (2D) 8,000,000:1 (3D)
Contrast Ratio:	1000:1
Brightness (Typical):	200 - 250nits (2D) 100nits (3D)
Color Gamut (Typical):	72%
Pixel Pitch:	0.265 x 0.265mm 96ppi
Response Time (Typical):	5ms
Resolution Formats:	1920 x 1080 @ 60Hz 1680 x 1050 @ 60Hz 1440 x 900 @ 60Hz 1280 x 1024 @ 60Hz 1280 x 720 @ 60Hz 800 x 600 @ 60Hz 720 x 400 @ 70Hz 640 x 480 @ 60Hz
Max Power Consumption:	45 Watts
Energy Saving Mode:	Sleep Mode: 0.5 Watt
Tilt:	0 - +1° Forward to +22 - +25° Backward
Detachable Base:	Yes
VESA Mounting:	No
3D:	Film Patterned Retarder (FPR) 2D to 3D converting depth control level 20 levels of 3D effect
Software:	CyberLink PowerDVD Premium 3D CyberLink PowerDVD Premium BD 3D (for Blu-ray) TriDef 3D Ingnition Game Player
Operating System Support:	Windows XP (SP3) (32 bit) Windows Vista (32 bit) Windows 7 (32 or 64 bit)
On Screen Display:	On Screen Display User Controls - Brightness, Contrast - Color - Image Control - OSD Control - Management - Language, Information - Factory Reset - Source Control - Exit User Programmable Modes - 20 Monitor Control Buttons - Menu, "-", "+" , "OK", Power Button

Connectors:
HDMI with HDCP:	1
DVI-D with HDCP:	1
VGA:	1

Physical:
Dimensions:	21.97"(W) x 16.4"(H) x 6.26"(D)
Weight:	8.16 lbs

In the box:

HP 2311GT 23” 1080p LED 3D Monitor
(2) Pairs of Passive 3D FPR Glasses
AC Adapter
HDMI Cable
(2) Cleaning Cloth
(2) Protective Pouch for Glasses
CD with Instructions

photo credit: candid

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CRKT Van Hoy On Fire Knife

Mon, 07 May 2012 00:00:24 -0500

I Did Not See That Coming

That’s the beauty of it. They CHOOSE their impending doom.

How do I sleep at night? Like a baby. It’s simple really. Either we sacrifice a few young horndogs, or the ancient ones destroy the Earth. It’s a necessary evil. Speaking of which, everyone place their bets? I’ve got five big ones on the blood-suckers. Vampires are kinda trendy right now.

DAMN! It’s zombies again. When will these kids learn? When a disembodied voice tells you to reanimate a corpse, you just don’t do it. I’ll never forget the scenario in ’06. Boy were they thick. We threw everything we had at them, and they still ignored all the signs. I mean, if a guy with razors for fingers dresses in a skin suit puts on a hockey mask and chases you through the woods with a chainsaw YOU TURN BACK. Oh you’ve seen all those movies, huh? Ok, so none of that really ever happened but the point is …

Oh $#*%! The cheerleader has a knife! And not just any knife. It’s a Van Hoy On Fire. Nice job, Jerry. Weren’t you in charge of weapon detection? SOMEONE GET IN THERE! Oh jeez. She took down the big one already. That OutBurst™ assisted opening mechanism really does make the blade spring open instantly.

Good grief. This is a monumental disaster. WHAT?! The burnout has a Van Hoy On Fire, too? Oh and it’s the partially serrated model. Welp, there goes the whole zombie family. They don’t stand a chance against the 2.375” premium AUS 8 stainless steel drop point blade in a contemporary bead-blast finish. Jerry, you might as well pack up your things now. The clients are NOT gonna be happy.

Looks like the Germans are our last hope. Let’s see how they’re faring against that poltergeist. Aaaand … nope. They all made it out alive. Well it’s been real, folks. Hope you’ve all made your peace. I, for one, am going out with a clear conscience. IT WAS MY JOB.

Warranty: Lifetime CRKT

Condition: New

Features:

From award-winning custom knifemaker Ed Van Hoy, this knife features a frame-lock folder that is not only a shapely form in stainless steel and aluminum, but incorporates advanced CRKT technology
OutBurst™ assisted opening mechanism instantly springs the blade fully open after you have used the knurled thumb stud to open the blade approximately 30 degrees
Action is super slick, thanks to bronze and Teflon® bearings at the adjustable blade pivot
LAWKS® safety, which effectively converts your folder into a virtual fixed blade when actuated
2.375” drop point blade is premium AUS 8 stainless steel in a contemporary bead-blast finish
Wedged top grind and four lightening holes add to its appeal
The open build is an unusual combination of a 420J2 stainless steel frame-lock with a 6061 T6 black anodized aluminum side plate, both liberally slotted and drilled to save weight
A removable custom bead-blast stainless steel pocket/gear clip gives all the carry options imaginable, in pocket, on belt, or in bags and briefcases

Additional Photos:

Razor Edge 5015 Specifications
Blade Length:	2.375” (6.0 cm)
Thickness:	0.14” (0.35 cm)
Steel:	AUS 8, 56-58 HRC
Closed Handle Length:	3.875” (9.8 cm)
Open Overall Length:	6.25” (15.9 cm)
Weight:	3.3 oz. (94 g)

Partially Serrated 5016 Specifications
Blade Length:	2.375” (6.0 cm)
Thickness:	0.14” (0.35 cm)
Steel:	AUS 8, 56-58 HRC
Closed Handle Length:	3.875” (9.8 cm)
Open Overall Length:	6.25” (15.9 cm)
Weight:	3.3 oz. (94 g)

In the box:

(1) CRKT Van Hoy On Fire Knife (Choose Razor Edge or Partially Serrated)

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