Somewhere someone is paying a month's salary to sit under an umbrella. That big dummy.
Look, you want to spend a couple days off drinking cocktails and sitting under an umbrella. Maybe you even want a little pop music playing in the background. What you don't want is to pay all your money in tips as you try to navigate between your room and the pool and the bar and back again. You don't support that system. Why can't they pay those people a fair wage like they do in Europe? Or possibly set aside a small percentage of every check in the form of Bitcoin? It's the currency of the future, you know.
This is a real issue in the modern vacation industry. And that's why we recommend you just bypass the whole thing and buy an umbrella and sit on your patio drinking a full bottle of gin until you pass out. Because, really, what's more relaxing than sleep?