“Post-PC?” Please. I’m takin’ it to another level. I’m going POST-post-PC.
Yeah, that’s right. You characters and your little “tablet computing is the future” diatribes are barely even worth my time anymore. I’m already done with the future. In fact, I’ve moved past the future into the future of that future. And you know what I saw there? THE PAST.
See, I understand how future things work. The moment some kind of culture shift happens, whether it’s fashion, art, or technology, there’s a subculture of people that shuns the change born almost immediately. Those people are destined to become the coolest people in the whole world. Really. Because while everyone is walking around and poking at their tablets all willy-nilly with their data all up in the clouds, the cool kids are gonna be the ones hanging out in dim bars all huddled around an old flat-screen monitor to watch a vintage cat video or swap files using memory cards or a SuperMulti DVD burner to create discs.
That’s why I’m preparing for the future’s future with this HP Pavilion Quad-Core Desktop. Sure, its 8GB DDR3 expandable memory and AMD A8-7600 3.1GHz Quad-Core processor are still plenty relevant today, but in a decade or so, all my friends are going to shake their heads in disbelief at how awesome it is that I’m still using Genuine Windows® 8.1 Home Premium 64-bit. They’ll probably mistake me for some kind of tortured artist once they hear about the AMD Radeon R7 series graphics. And when word hits the street, I won’t even need an invitation to the best parties. I’ll just show up, and let the power of my radness radiate from my being.
So you kids go ahead and carry on with your elitist ways for now. With this HP Pavilion Quad-Core Desktop, I’m already post-elite. Or post-post-elite. Whatever gets that girl with the tattoos at the coffee shop to talk to me.