Coloring is the new Quaalude.
Do you worry too much? Do you often have trouble falling or staying asleep? Do you exhibit frequent irrational fear that sometimes manifests into physical ailments like muscle tension or projectile vomiting? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you might be experiencing anxiety.
But there's hope! With all-new Stuff2Color adult-style coloring books, you can easily manage your anxiety symptoms. Simply color for half an hour twice a day, and watch your anxiety melt away. Don't believe it? Check out these first-hand accounts from real* twice-daily Stuff2Color customers:
"I was feeling really anxious because I had recently murdered my husband. I was nervous that someone would discover that I had hidden his body under the floorboards of our house. Then I got these Stuff2Color adult-style coloring books, and all my worries disappeared!" - Annie, Las Vegas
"I was up for a big promotion at work, but my boss said I had to have sex with her in order to get it. I was having a lot of anxiety because I didn't really want to have sex with her. Well, I'm happy to report that, after coloring with Stuff2Color, I had no problem having sex with her and I got the promotion!" - Greg, Santa Fe
Possible side effects** of coloring with twice-daily Stuff2Color adult-style coloring books include: nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, loss of appetite, delusions of grandeur, loss of coordination, headache, trouble concentrating, suddenly bursting into song, memory problems, weakness, inhuman strength like the Incredible Hulk, confusion, hallucinations, fainting, excessive licking at the air, shallow breathing, severe skin reaction, fever, sore throat, swelling in your big toe, burning in your eyes, itchy skeleton.
*Not actually real people or accounts. We made it all up.
**Side effects are real though.